Saturday, September 18, 2010

In praise of sisterhood

I remember being out of my mind with joy for my first child, who happened to be a boy, when his brother and partner in crime came along just two years later. We never find out what we're having while I am pregnant so this was an exciting revelation and one that gave me a sense of security. The two boys would always have each other. I know that means someone to get into trouble with and all that roughhousing boys do but more than that, for having a person to go to, who gets you, who knows where you come from, and wants to see you get where you wanna go. I felt a similar thrill when after having our third baby, a delightful girl, we found out on the operating table two years later that darlin' #4 was a girl as well. Sisterhood. Sweet sisterhood. For all that girlfriends can be to each other you need intimately a sister to remind you there is at least one girl out there who is looking out for you and will help you bury the evidence, or if need be the body, after the crime with no questions asked. They will stand with you no matter what you have done and said in the past. It's like all the benefits of friendship with all the security of family-you know the ones you are tied to whether you like it or not. I have just such a sister, not that we've gotten rid of anybody in the creek together.  We are a mere 19 months apart. She is the kind who stays all night long with me at the hospital when I have a baby. She uses her off days to come and visit me and my darlin's. She calls me when I am feeling swallowed up in motherhood and makes me laugh with her craziness. She loves on my darlin's as if they were her own. She is the exact opposite of all my earmarkings as a person and yet we are the same. We know the same path, the same losses, the same traditions. Our bond is not one that depends on the stage of life we are in or how busy our day jobs are. She jokes that one day we will be old and our husbands will be enjoying the pre-cut grass in the afterlife and I'll be pushing her round in the wheelchair and she'll help fish my dentures out of the iced tea pitcher. We joke around with each other, but when push comes to shove, don't you mess with my sister! And, I feel pretty sure, with little provocation, she would hide that body in the creek for me just like I would do for her.

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